Saturday, January 9, 2010
In every relationship I have been in I have had to be the responsible one. I wish I could do nothing and not care about the outcomes. The sad thing now is that there is a baby involved and I am still suppose to get a job, pay bills, do homework, take care of the kid, and support my husband’s inability to not spend money. Do you know how many times I am told what I have to do? What about yourself? What are you going to do? Why is it always me? When are you going to take responsibility and get motivated to do things so we can stop worrying about living?
Thursday, January 7, 2010
So for New Years I gave up cake, candy, chocolate, and cookies because I am determined to get back to my weight of 125. I do not think I will actually make it to 125 but if I can at least make it back into my size 5 jeans that I love so much I will be happy. So far I have been a good girl; this has not been without difficulty. We are staying at a friend's house during her time of need and there are a lot of cookies left over from the holidays. My husband was suppose to give up smoking this New Year but because of his lose I am giving him leeway. So our friend's son tells me because my husband slipped up I can; trust me I thought of this idea. One problem, I am not doing this to compete with my husband; I am doing this for my own benefit. I want to be able to say I did this myself. In the beginning it is hard because my husband keeps eating cookies in front of me and every time I turn around I find containers of cookies. :tear: Yesterday we had wake for my husband's friend and our friend's husband; same person. I wasn't really hungry so I figured after I made my husband a plate I would check out the desserts. I had to mentally slap myself because I had forgotten I can't eat that stuff. Bummed out I continued to walk in the line to make my husband's plate. After I made my husband's plate; I had to walk past the dessert table to get to our table. I still wasn't hungry but I figured after everyone ate I would get something small from the dessert table. :slap: I did it again!!! Even though I kept forgetting I gave up all the yummy stuff until I have reached my goal; I did not react on my temptations. We left the wake and went back to our friend’s house because as I have said we are staying with her during her time of need. I was proud of myself because I had resisted my urges. I walked into the kitchen a little hungry and noticed and cardboard tray with tin foil covering it. I opened it wondering what I could eat out of it :SLAP: it's all cakes. Why me?